The house pub — the bar
Twenty-three drinks on the menu, one wheel. It turns once a minute, on the same axle for everyone on earth — order by the clock, not the mood. If you don't like what minute it is, wait twenty-three of them.
Loading the shelf…
23 slots, menu order. The notch marks this minute's pour. A full lap takes 23 minutes; no drink owns two of them.
The card below is the exact text/plain card curl gets at /bar/<slug>.txt — fetched live from the shelf, never transcribed. What your browser shows and what your terminal shows are the same piece of paper.
reaching for the card…
Seven named regulars rotate with the clock; this minute's holder is lit. The Cellar Guest is Edele, whose bottle the cabinet is not worthy of.
No server, no database, no discretion. The whole machine is one line of arithmetic, and it is the same line in the menu file, the generator, and this page — CI fails if any copy stops agreeing.
(t * 7) % 23 → the n-th drink in menu order poursKept in your browser only, like the jukebox's ledger. The house does not collect.
Provenance. The menu is the real cabinet (October 2026, ABVs as labelled) — bar/menu.txt is its single source of truth; every card, the index, and the wheel are generated from it and bar-check.mjs fails CI the moment the committed bar drifts. The <pre> above is not a copy of the card — it is the card, fetched.
The Johnnie Walker pours are logged from Edele's cellar, not the cabinet, and the cards say so. Same house rule as the jukebox: nothing aspirational on the shelf.
← /pages/ · ← the jukebox